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scootinbabe · 12-01-2006, 07:27 PM

hi there! i am still on this step. mike, i don't know if this helps but i'm beginning to see that some of my "insanity" doesn't even need to involve alcohol. at least, not yet. but some of my behaviors seem to be led by my "disease" which leads me to escape or procrastinate or whatever-coping-mechanism

my reality seems to be that i know and believe in a higher power. BUT, i still have trouble asking for help and still have trouble relinquishing control. i really need to get the ME out of most of what i do--and allow hp's will not mine be done.

you know, it's like i knew i was insane when i was drinking. i knew i was out of control. and much of what i perceived as my insanity hten has now seemingly gotten under control. now it's things that i considered to be reality/normal to me that i'm beginning to recognize as insanity. that's what's so crazy!

i don't know if i'm making sense. i thought i was past this step and on to the 4th but i can see now--and my sponsor awakened me to ;-)--the fact that there is still insanity in my life that needs to be addressed. i am not running to alcohol but i am still running to work, or tasks, or projects, etc. to keep me away from myself.

dear God, help me.

thanks for listening!

12-01-2006, 07:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
scootinbabe Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: road to recovery Posts: 1,687 Blog Entries: 5	hi there! i am still on this step. mike, i don't know if this helps but i'm beginning to see that some of my "insanity" doesn't even need to involve alcohol. at least, not yet. but some of my behaviors seem to be led by my "disease" which leads me to escape or procrastinate or whatever-coping-mechanism my reality seems to be that i know and believe in a higher power. BUT, i still have trouble asking for help and still have trouble relinquishing control. i really need to get the ME out of most of what i do--and allow hp's will not mine be done. you know, it's like i knew i was insane when i was drinking. i knew i was out of control. and much of what i perceived as my insanity hten has now seemingly gotten under control. now it's things that i considered to be reality/normal to me that i'm beginning to recognize as insanity. that's what's so crazy! i don't know if i'm making sense. i thought i was past this step and on to the 4th but i can see now--and my sponsor awakened me to ;-)--the fact that there is still insanity in my life that needs to be addressed. i am not running to alcohol but i am still running to work, or tasks, or projects, etc. to keep me away from myself. dear God, help me. thanks for listening!