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Step 2 - AA
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Hi all,
When I first came to AA and I had to share on the second step, I would boldly declare,"My name is Mike, I'm an alcoholic, and I am not now, nor have I ever been insane." This despite years of performing such sane acts as smashing mailboxes with sledgehammers on a Sunday afternoon while singing The Fields of Athenrey.
I truly believed that my alcoholic behavior was not insanity. I thought it was normal to leave work on payday, fully resolved to not drink, and stop in a bar to duck the rain. This despite the fact that the hardware store next to the bar sold umbrellas. Four days, twenty-odd bars, three crackhouses, and 900 dollars later I would come to, wondering how I was going to survive on .37 cents for two weeks. I did this over and over. Usually just a variation on the same theme. But I was sane. Right.
It took a while. Gradually I came to see that where alcohol was involved, I was indeed insane. I needed something to help me out of it. Gradually I also began to believe in the existence of God - certainly a power greater than myself. My belief did not come easily. The spiritual awakening I had developed over time, and was then hastened by a near death experience sober. I got through it, saw my life getting better, and realized that God, for me, was the key.
My higher power could restore me to a normal way of life and thinking. It was happening in my life and in the lives of everyone I associated with at that time. How could I doubt it?
Thoughts anyone?
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