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shutterbug · 11-24-2006, 10:24 PM

sweetie...the sooner you let go of him the sooner you can start enjoying life again. Don't let this one person who you only spent 6 months with rob you of any more joy.

When I was 18.....if somebody would have told me that I would have about 13 serious relationships and none would result in marriage (which is good b/c I see now how miserable i would have been with any of those guys)....then I wouldn't have let my heart get so broken over each one!

Chances are that you are going to be in at least several more relationships before you find a lasting one, but even then it's up to you to carefully evaluate the relationship with your eyes wide open and looking into the future. And dear....if you are putting this much of yourself into a guy you were only with for 6 months then there is no way you are being true to yourself....and eventually you would have grown tired of being 'the person' you thought you needed to be to try and make him happy. And by that time...the pain of the ending relationship would be much stronger and there might be kids involved at that point.

I say all this because I know what you are feeling and how bad that hurts and how much you thought THIS was the one....or at least hoped he was. Truth is....now looking back with all I've learned...I know I was only mourning the loss of someone I had created in my mind, because the real person WAS NOT the same as what I saw him as.

This is a blessing, however you may have a hard time seeing how that could be so.

But just imagine that your true Mr. Right won't walk into your life until 2 or 3 years into the future. Well.....if you and mr. butthead stayed together and tried to make it work over and over again.....Mr. Right may not ever have a chance to introduce himeself to you. And perhaps a situation comes along with the same mr. right 10 years further into the future....and by then you are available and you fall in love and live happily ever after. Well, wouldn't it have been better to have met him the first time around and not had to go through that 10 years going from one bad relationship to the next until he bumped into you again.....and this time YOU were ready?

Don't gamble with your happiness....be picky in who you choose to give your heart to. Sometimes it's hard b/c if you're like me then it hurts so badly not to feel loved or desired....so even the tiniest bit of affection feels like heaven, but it's all just smoke and mirrors and will always lead to more pain unless we stay true to ourselves and wait for that person that fits into our lives.....instead of trying to change ourselves to fit into the wrong person's life.

I hope i'm making some sense....for this comes from my heart and a place that's been hurt so many times over..... just because I didn't yet understand what I've now written above.

11-24-2006, 10:24 PM	#4 (permalink)
shutterbug A picture's worth a 1000 words Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: With any luck, I'm lost in a view finder Posts: 2,947 Blog Entries: 5	sweetie...the sooner you let go of him the sooner you can start enjoying life again. Don't let this one person who you only spent 6 months with rob you of any more joy. When I was 18.....if somebody would have told me that I would have about 13 serious relationships and none would result in marriage (which is good b/c I see now how miserable i would have been with any of those guys)....then I wouldn't have let my heart get so broken over each one! Chances are that you are going to be in at least several more relationships before you find a lasting one, but even then it's up to you to carefully evaluate the relationship with your eyes wide open and looking into the future. And dear....if you are putting this much of yourself into a guy you were only with for 6 months then there is no way you are being true to yourself....and eventually you would have grown tired of being 'the person' you thought you needed to be to try and make him happy. And by that time...the pain of the ending relationship would be much stronger and there might be kids involved at that point. I say all this because I know what you are feeling and how bad that hurts and how much you thought THIS was the one....or at least hoped he was. Truth is....now looking back with all I've learned...I know I was only mourning the loss of someone I had created in my mind, because the real person WAS NOT the same as what I saw him as. This is a blessing, however you may have a hard time seeing how that could be so. But just imagine that your true Mr. Right won't walk into your life until 2 or 3 years into the future. Well.....if you and mr. butthead stayed together and tried to make it work over and over again.....Mr. Right may not ever have a chance to introduce himeself to you. And perhaps a situation comes along with the same mr. right 10 years further into the future....and by then you are available and you fall in love and live happily ever after. Well, wouldn't it have been better to have met him the first time around and not had to go through that 10 years going from one bad relationship to the next until he bumped into you again.....and this time YOU were ready? Don't gamble with your happiness....be picky in who you choose to give your heart to. Sometimes it's hard b/c if you're like me then it hurts so badly not to feel loved or desired....so even the tiniest bit of affection feels like heaven, but it's all just smoke and mirrors and will always lead to more pain unless we stay true to ourselves and wait for that person that fits into our lives.....instead of trying to change ourselves to fit into the wrong person's life. I hope i'm making some sense....for this comes from my heart and a place that's been hurt so many times over..... just because I didn't yet understand what I've now written above. __________________ I'M FINE!! Fanatically Insecure Neuratic & Emotional Bipolar/Depression support: 1-800-950-NAMI(6264).