Hi Lovelife - I'm posting a link here for you with some phone numbers for crisis lines. We're limited in what we can do for you on a message board and I really think you need to talk to someone with experience in crisis counselling and get some support in addition to SoberRecovery. I am sorry you are hurting so bad. Please give one of these numbers a call, now. http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/hotlines/state.asp
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Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky.
~Ojibwe saying~
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