Hi, it's been a few days but have to echo the sentiment about toxic, noxious personalities in one's life, and I'm so glad that
shutterbug broached this important subject in another thread by our member,
lovelife:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by shutterbug We have to make a choice to love ourselves more than we love others. We deserve peace and we DONT have to put up with crap. |
(Underlining is mine.)
It brought to mind my own lesson learned about this, and I thought it appropriate to make into a separate topic as indeed - I have had to cut off one of my own sisters. It was purely an act of self-preservation and
nothing holier-than-thou or self-righteous about it.
But after living the sickness of being an adult child of alcoholics for 40 years, I had to cut away her as well, because she has that same sickness.
Specifically, I'm not alluding to alcoholism but just unhealthy traits: Automatic negativity; always some kind of drama or trouble going on; an incredibly tenacious flair for exaggerating
everything (lol), living in some fantasy world, or just outright lying.
And saying the meanest, most unbelievably insensitive things, at the cruelest, most unbelievably inappropriate times. LOL You can tell I was scarred emotionally and, as I began to get not just sober but
older and more independent, I came to determine that
she would continue to be a pernicious and negative force to have in my life.
I finally had to, literally haha, write her out of my life - in a letter. I told her... please do not associate with me unless you are able to get help and change; told her that I had no obligation to love her and was tired of
feeling threatened into loving her (if you've lived that, then you know).
So far this entire year, it's worked. It may sound cruel, but good riddance. Seriously. You cannot choose your family, and when that is an unhealthy choice in adulthood, you've absolutely no obligation to loyalty by blood alone.
Oh uh Happy gobble~gobble Day, all you CARNIVORES!!!
Ten