[tintin]

Hello,

I have visited here before and have been reading a lot of posts. I am taking around 8-10 vicoden a day. I have been taking them for the most part for the past 3 years. I started taking them for a back contition only now I abuse them. I have back pain but I wouldn't know exactly when because I take the pills everyday. Anyway, I was planning on doing a taper off them in dec. when I have a couple weeks off from work but it looks like I will have to do it now. My doctor moved and my new one cut me off. I guess this week will be rough but I need to do this. I really just worry about being ok at work. I can't take time off. I cut my intake to 4 pills yesterday and today and have 2 left for tomorrow. Then that is it. I quit once before with a one week taper-the w/d wasn't that bad but this is a close to cold turkey. I made it 14 days the last time and my neighbor offered me 2 pills for my back-that's all it took to get back on them! well, another lesson learned-once you stop you can't go back. I may call my doctor tomorrow to see if she can give me something to help with the w/d's. I may even ask about the possability of detox but I wouldn't be able to start it until wed. Anyway, the one thing I am certain of is that I need to stop taking these pills. The degree of my suffering may change but not the change itself.

I heard a quote this evening that resonates with me so on this day

"Your addiction is your salvation. It is the cross you carry".

so begins my journey of carrying my own cross in sufferage.....