Firefighter
I just want to join the welcome here, and I hope that you will continue to find strength here and through working your own program of recovery.
Al-Anon has been a wonderful place for many to find others who have been where you are and who will also work with you to heal and make balanced decisions in your life, and I suggest trying a few meetings to see if this would help you too.
Sadly, we cannot change them but we can change ourselves and how we handle living with an active user.
Hugs
Ann