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chm760 · 08-04-2003, 03:50 PM

Thanks. I guess I needed to hear that I made the right choice. When I was using, and hitting the bottom, I wasn't lucky enough to have someone there that loved me and listened to me, helped me through, but then I'm kinda glad I didn't, because I'm sure I would still be using. I don't know how long this feeling will last. I feel so bad, I feel that I have abandoned her at her worst hour. But I know that if I took her back, then I’d be using again, if not heroin then crack. I can’t do that. I’m so upset and tired. I wish her all the best. I’m moving from this town, there’s too many influences here. I must get back on the track with my life. I only hope she will forgive me for what I have done. I know in my mind and heart, it was her choice to continue to live this way, and I shouldn't feel bad about my decision. And in time I know she may forgive me. I gotta let her go.

Reminds me of a story I've once heard.

Two monks were walking along a river bank, across the river, stuck in the mud, was a beautiful maiden, the older monk cut down a vine, swung across, and picked up the maiden in his arms, and swung back to shore, the maiden thanked him and wanted to show her appreciation, he and his younger friend started to walk away. Half way down the river the younger monk said to the older monk, "That was very unbecoming of a monk to do that, the way you carried her across the river on a vine. She is very beautiful and you didn't get tempted?" The older monk replied surprisingly, "I left her back there on the bank of the river, why are you still carrying her? Let it go”

Something like that…

Anyways thank you.

08-04-2003, 03:50 PM	#3 (permalink)
chm760 Paused Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Galveston, TX Posts: 12	Thanks. I guess I needed to hear that I made the right choice. When I was using, and hitting the bottom, I wasn't lucky enough to have someone there that loved me and listened to me, helped me through, but then I'm kinda glad I didn't, because I'm sure I would still be using. I don't know how long this feeling will last. I feel so bad, I feel that I have abandoned her at her worst hour. But I know that if I took her back, then I’d be using again, if not heroin then crack. I can’t do that. I’m so upset and tired. I wish her all the best. I’m moving from this town, there’s too many influences here. I must get back on the track with my life. I only hope she will forgive me for what I have done. I know in my mind and heart, it was her choice to continue to live this way, and I shouldn't feel bad about my decision. And in time I know she may forgive me. I gotta let her go. Reminds me of a story I've once heard. Two monks were walking along a river bank, across the river, stuck in the mud, was a beautiful maiden, the older monk cut down a vine, swung across, and picked up the maiden in his arms, and swung back to shore, the maiden thanked him and wanted to show her appreciation, he and his younger friend started to walk away. Half way down the river the younger monk said to the older monk, "That was very unbecoming of a monk to do that, the way you carried her across the river on a vine. She is very beautiful and you didn't get tempted?" The older monk replied surprisingly, "I left her back there on the bank of the river, why are you still carrying her? Let it go” Something like that… Anyways thank you.