[2stop]

All weekend long I have been thinking about what to do regarding the meds, several things occurred to me, one is I have been on so many meds I really don't think they'll start working now, of course I'm only newly sober and I understand maybe they would work better now, another thing is I am terrified to gain weight on the med, I freak out thinking about it! I know it sounds silly, but I have battled anorexia and bulimia before and I notice myself obsessing more over "the perfect body image" as I become more sober, and I have it in my head that only xanax or valium will help the anxiety and I have been addicteded to them before so on one hand I am ready to take them just to feel better, and on the other hand I am terrified of any more withdrawals....I feel like a moron fro the reasons I have stated seem so vain and selfish, but nevertheless they truly bother me, so I am trying to decide what I should do, I know not doing anything will land me in a heap of trouble. but I seem to land in trouble even when I take them, so I guess I just feel hopeless and frustarted about it. If I had insurance I would get shock treatments I think...I've been in the hospital in TX with people who had them and they seemed alright afterwards. I'm just trying to think of everything and anything. What do ya all know about acupuncture helping? I am going to call a few places this week I think that do it, mainly I became interested in acupuncture for some physical pain I am in, but have heard it may also help depression and anxiety. I'm to the point I'd swim laps up and down the Nile River if I was told it would help.:p