[optomatic5000]

I'm scared that I might start drinking again. There isn't a day that goes by that I think about JUST ONE DRINK to get through the day! There are days when stress levels are so incredible that I feel that having a drink or going back to the days of drinking on the weekends will make everything better.

My stress levels get so high that there are times I think about suicide. I don't want to feel this way. I'm happy living life, but these thoughts seem to haunt me. Alcohol used to be my way out of that mode of thinking. I wish I didn't have to feel so much pain. I don't know what to do.

Sometimes I feel like I'm chasing my tail. I feel good, I have fun and then the next day I feel like crap. I want to overcome the stress without drink but I also want to rid the stresses of daily life. These stresses have been magnified 100x since I quit and it only makes the next drink look so good.

I don't want this! I think I need more help!

Please!