In the NA Basic Text on page 15 it says
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We had had enough of self-destruction. We experienced our powerlessness. When nothing relieved our paranoia and fear, we hit bottom and became ready to ask for help.
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I know that those two things over 5 months ago drove me into the program of NA again, with all willingness to do things different. I know that I am always going to make mistakes, but I hope that I am making new mistakes today, rather than repeating the same ones. I do know that if it wasn't for the fear and the paranoia then I wouldn't be alive today. Hope that you find peace.
Love and Respect
Vic