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Yes, I was fat, ugly, stupid, a prude. I was the last to know about the concaine, the lies about money, the women, the girls, the secret phone calls. I was beaten and humilated, I was verbally abused and neglected. My comments may seem direct, perhaps even cold but I remember the very worst thing was that everyone knew but me. Not one person thought enough of me to step up and be direct. We are all entitled to at least our dignity in these matters. When my first marriage ended , I could not believe how many people THEN said, I know, every one knew. Here's my conclusion. I want to base my life on the truth. When we get to the end of our lives we appreciate how precious every breath is. We take so many for granted. I want to make my own decisions about how and who I invest my life into. My husband stayed out all night. He spent money hand over fist, while I was home scraping for money for milk, he was out with the girl next door. They went to every bar in town. No one told me. No one was my friend. People knew he hit me and not one person came to me with the only ammunition I could have used to get him removed. I keep a stack of checks that is about 3 inches thick. Each check is for either $50 or $100. Stupid stupid stupid! Concaine! If I'm rough on new posters it's because I have the advantage of retrospect. You can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig. We have to see what is in our faces. If a person stays knowingly, that is between them and God. These are the precious days of our lives and I just want each person here to spend their time and energy on the truths and not the lies. We didn't have the internet then, there was no forum. I certainly understand the pain of it. I think when people poo pooed me, I found it insulting. I have great compassion, but I also want to light a fire. I hate to think peopke crumple up. I want them to rise to a stand with a warriors heart.
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