hereagain

i am a 28 year old who has been to rehab and lived in a sober house. I use to live in miami and because of a divorce i had to move back home to alabama to start my life over. i did good for almost two years. but then i started hanging around some of my old class mates, and they did another D.O.C that was'nt my flavor so it was easy for me to say no. but seeing them do their drug made me start to think about mine. and i started back for a while and then i met this girl who was clean and a school teacher. things for once started to go right for me. about 4months into our relationship i dissapeared for almost 24hours and spent about 1,000 dollars. and then i started going back to some meetings and got a little time clean, but then i quit going to those meetings and a few months later i did it again, only this time i didnt spend as much as last time. me and my fiance are now not living together and i stay with my mom who keeps a close eye on me. i want to be sober but my fiance now has a problem with pain pills and when she sends me out to get her some pills it starts my urge to use. i dont know why i cant get my head straight and do right. if you got anything that might help let me know. thanks