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pam5817 · 10-16-2006, 07:36 PM

my son is on methadone one year now. he relapsed last week to heroin. He used twice that I know of.

I drive him everyday to methadone. He totaled his car. His checking account is bounced. I am losing my house. I have taken equity out of my home as a single parent 3 times to help him and now I cant afford it anymore. My house is for sale.

He wrecked my car last week nodding out on methadone.

I found two crack pipes in his room last night.

He is bipolar, and has obsessive compulsive disorder. he has no health insurance. He has no medications. His father was very abusive to him his entire life, which is why i am divorced.

Long story.

Im at the end of my rope. Three long years of this. I am sick. My psychiatrist and doctors have told me its REVELATION Time. They have told me I cannot save him. They have told me to let go.

I want him out of my house but at the same time I am scared he will die . He has no friends but heroin users.

He just got food stamps last week but hasnt helped yet. I cant let him use my car. Mysterious numbers are calling my cell phone, drug dealers, asking for the BOY in the RED CAR, they say.

Im having a terrible manic depressive relapse. I cant get out of bed in the morning and face the day......Im broke, losing my house, cannot afford my own medications, and I cant eat. I have lost 22 pounds.

Sometimes, he cries, Mom i love you, i dont want to hurt you. He claims he has severe pain. He claims he cannot see correctly. I took him to 3 eye doctors, a neurologist, and 3 psychiatrist, they all say ITS IN HIS HEAD, that he has a mental illness.

I called police, they took him to the emergency room, he told the Psychiatrist in the emergency department, that he was fine, that it was ME, his mother, who was crazy, and had him admitted for dumb reasons. They believed him and let him out.

RIght now, Im driving him to methadone, im paying 80 bucks a week for his methadone, yet he has smoked crack cocaine, and shot heroin. He had a job offer and turned it down -- said he cant work, cuz he has anxiety attacks. Im like YEAH?? cuz you smoke crack maybe?

He was a straight A student. never fit in with the crowd, the athletic kids or anything. He was a computer freak. My ex always hated that about him. Hes been severely abused, yes, but hes 21 now, and I feel he should let his past go and stop using it as an excuse to use drugs.

I even found him a social worker to work with him, and help him get psychiatric care and help, maybe even some free medications, and stuff, and he doesnt wanna go or talk them, and fears me telling them the TRUTH about him. He calls me names, like **********, and *******, and says F you mom, when things dont go his way. Then he cries like a little baby.

He breaks into my bedroojm at night and crawls into my bed, and says hes scared, hes 21 !!!! says he is dreaming that perople are shooting heroin into him.

Is it time to really just kick him out?

I feel like Im going crazy, all because of my son.

Some people say I am only prolonging his funeral. I dont know what to do .

10-16-2006, 07:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
pam5817 Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: westminster, md Posts: 1	bipolar no meds, drug abuse, dual diagnosis my son is on methadone one year now. he relapsed last week to heroin. He used twice that I know of. I drive him everyday to methadone. He totaled his car. His checking account is bounced. I am losing my house. I have taken equity out of my home as a single parent 3 times to help him and now I cant afford it anymore. My house is for sale. He wrecked my car last week nodding out on methadone. I found two crack pipes in his room last night. He is bipolar, and has obsessive compulsive disorder. he has no health insurance. He has no medications. His father was very abusive to him his entire life, which is why i am divorced. Long story. Im at the end of my rope. Three long years of this. I am sick. My psychiatrist and doctors have told me its REVELATION Time. They have told me I cannot save him. They have told me to let go. I want him out of my house but at the same time I am scared he will die . He has no friends but heroin users. He just got food stamps last week but hasnt helped yet. I cant let him use my car. Mysterious numbers are calling my cell phone, drug dealers, asking for the BOY in the RED CAR, they say. Im having a terrible manic depressive relapse. I cant get out of bed in the morning and face the day......Im broke, losing my house, cannot afford my own medications, and I cant eat. I have lost 22 pounds. Sometimes, he cries, Mom i love you, i dont want to hurt you. He claims he has severe pain. He claims he cannot see correctly. I took him to 3 eye doctors, a neurologist, and 3 psychiatrist, they all say ITS IN HIS HEAD, that he has a mental illness. I called police, they took him to the emergency room, he told the Psychiatrist in the emergency department, that he was fine, that it was ME, his mother, who was crazy, and had him admitted for dumb reasons. They believed him and let him out. RIght now, Im driving him to methadone, im paying 80 bucks a week for his methadone, yet he has smoked crack cocaine, and shot heroin. He had a job offer and turned it down -- said he cant work, cuz he has anxiety attacks. Im like YEAH?? cuz you smoke crack maybe? He was a straight A student. never fit in with the crowd, the athletic kids or anything. He was a computer freak. My ex always hated that about him. Hes been severely abused, yes, but hes 21 now, and I feel he should let his past go and stop using it as an excuse to use drugs. I even found him a social worker to work with him, and help him get psychiatric care and help, maybe even some free medications, and stuff, and he doesnt wanna go or talk them, and fears me telling them the TRUTH about him. He calls me names, like ********, and *****, and says F you mom, when things dont go his way. Then he cries like a little baby. He breaks into my bedroojm at night and crawls into my bed, and says hes scared, hes 21 !!!! says he is dreaming that perople are shooting heroin into him. Is it time to really just kick him out? I feel like Im going crazy, all because of my son. Some people say I am only prolonging his funeral. I dont know what to do .