[Debbie]

* You wake up face down on the floor.

* You call the Depression Hotline and they put you on hold.

* You see a "60 minutes" news team waiting in your office.

* Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

* You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any.

* You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.

* Your twin sister forgot your birthday.

* Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.

* The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

* You wake up and your braces are locked together.

* You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.

* Your blind date turns out to be your ex.

* Your paycheck bounces.

* You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

* Your pet rock snaps at you.

* Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George.