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Grasshopper · 10-05-2006, 06:44 AM

{{{{***}}}},i understand.
I too thought that if hub would say im sorry that this would help to make me feel better.Just admit his wrongs,that he did the things,and said the things that he did.Just do it,for heaven sake,will help me.This belief did not work in my life.Here was my problem.,my own belief,system,that anothers words can heal me,inside.And my needing this at the time.Healing comes from living in recovery,myself,and from God.Its an inside job.By the time hub did make ammmends to me,it wasnt vital to me,that he did it,or never did it.It was no longer that buring issue in my life.My exsistance no longer depended on anyone words.Its nice that he made his ammmends.But i no longer felt i needed it,to be able to live,happy,joyous and free.Im happy for him,that he is doing the do things for his own recovery.I had forgiven him,many years before,through working on my own recovery.My own kids were my example of forgiving Dad.They taught me how to do it,by their example.Through all the pain,and suffereing we as family have become stronger,through God.
Many a spouce have heard the words,im sorry,never again.,from the alcoholic.And yet the actions didnt change.
The alcoholic must be very careful in making their ammends.The 12 steps are in order for a very vaild reason.By the time one reaches step 8-9 they are ready.
Good judgement,a careful sense of timing,courage and prudence-these are the qualities we shall need.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and youre family,thank you for letting me share,how it works for me,
God Bless.

10-05-2006, 06:44 AM	#8 (permalink)
Grasshopper Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Green,green grass of home Posts: 600	{{{{***}}}},i understand. I too thought that if hub would say im sorry that this would help to make me feel better.Just admit his wrongs,that he did the things,and said the things that he did.Just do it,for heaven sake,will help me.This belief did not work in my life.Here was my problem.,my own belief,system,that anothers words can heal me,inside.And my needing this at the time.Healing comes from living in recovery,myself,and from God.Its an inside job.By the time hub did make ammmends to me,it wasnt vital to me,that he did it,or never did it.It was no longer that buring issue in my life.My exsistance no longer depended on anyone words.Its nice that he made his ammmends.But i no longer felt i needed it,to be able to live,happy,joyous and free.Im happy for him,that he is doing the do things for his own recovery.I had forgiven him,many years before,through working on my own recovery.My own kids were my example of forgiving Dad.They taught me how to do it,by their example.Through all the pain,and suffereing we as family have become stronger,through God. Many a spouce have heard the words,im sorry,never again.,from the alcoholic.And yet the actions didnt change. The alcoholic must be very careful in making their ammends.The 12 steps are in order for a very vaild reason.By the time one reaches step 8-9 they are ready. Good judgement,a careful sense of timing,courage and prudence-these are the qualities we shall need. My thoughts and prayers are with you and youre family,thank you for letting me share,how it works for me, God Bless.