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jlo34 · 10-05-2006, 05:49 AM

Christina,
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I'm sponsoring a lady who after being sober for 2 weeks, her husband left her (after 18 years of marriage...20 years of being together). Then she found out that he had been cheating on her the entire time. Then she found out that he had impregnanted this "other" woman. She just celebrated 2 months sober last week. This woman hurts so much from what her NON-ALCOHOLIC husband has done to her. He has a different sickness.

This woman is in so much pain...it totally breaks my heart to hear her pain. I can nearly feel it. I cry and pray with (and for) her. I promise her that as long as she works through it, she will feel better, not over night, but with time. Last night I asked her if she had the "Acceptance" pamphlet. She said she didn't. I told her that today we are going to get her one. Christina, I don't know if you've read that pamphlet, but it's really good. It's 24 pages and I know around here only costs $1.00. Here it's also located in the literature rack. I would highly suggest that.

Even sober people can remain sick in sobriety. Just because the alcohol is gone, does not mean that life is wonderful...all our troubles are gone. It just means we quite using alcohol. Unless the 12 steps are used...progress is not likely. We will be like "dry drunks". Sober and miserable.

Using the 12 steps, and I know you are a grateful member of Al-Anon...we have to do things in a certain order. Sadly we can't make right all the wrong we have done...not right away. How can we expect our loved ones to forgive us? Yet, so many times, they do. Actions speak so much louder than words. I am making living amends to my parents for all the hell I put them through. I am so grateful that my children and husband have NOT seen my drunk.

My prayers and thoughts are with you, Christina. Through pain, we grow. Perhaps you are in the midst of your miracle now. Hug that young man of yours and be grateful that you are so involved in his life and that you are dependable.

I have an ex-husband, though sober for a considerable amount of time chooses not to work the steps and has seriously damamged my eldest emotionally so many times. I'm grateful that I can at least be her stability. In fact, one night she told me, "Of all the people in this world, mom, I love you the most.". I started crying. Whenever I think about, I tear up. Unbelievable to have that kind of love with such a wonderful young lady.

Bless you Christina on your journey. Please check into that "Acceptance" booklet if you don't have one. Also, try reading the Big Book, "Wives" and "The Family Afterward". May also help you.

Prayers and loads of love,
Jen

10-05-2006, 05:49 AM	#7 (permalink)
jlo34 Grateful recovering alcoholic Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Blissfield, MI Posts: 814	Christina, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm sponsoring a lady who after being sober for 2 weeks, her husband left her (after 18 years of marriage...20 years of being together). Then she found out that he had been cheating on her the entire time. Then she found out that he had impregnanted this "other" woman. She just celebrated 2 months sober last week. This woman hurts so much from what her NON-ALCOHOLIC husband has done to her. He has a different sickness. This woman is in so much pain...it totally breaks my heart to hear her pain. I can nearly feel it. I cry and pray with (and for) her. I promise her that as long as she works through it, she will feel better, not over night, but with time. Last night I asked her if she had the "Acceptance" pamphlet. She said she didn't. I told her that today we are going to get her one. Christina, I don't know if you've read that pamphlet, but it's really good. It's 24 pages and I know around here only costs $1.00. Here it's also located in the literature rack. I would highly suggest that. Even sober people can remain sick in sobriety. Just because the alcohol is gone, does not mean that life is wonderful...all our troubles are gone. It just means we quite using alcohol. Unless the 12 steps are used...progress is not likely. We will be like "dry drunks". Sober and miserable. Using the 12 steps, and I know you are a grateful member of Al-Anon...we have to do things in a certain order. Sadly we can't make right all the wrong we have done...not right away. How can we expect our loved ones to forgive us? Yet, so many times, they do. Actions speak so much louder than words. I am making living amends to my parents for all the hell I put them through. I am so grateful that my children and husband have NOT seen my drunk. My prayers and thoughts are with you, Christina. Through pain, we grow. Perhaps you are in the midst of your miracle now. Hug that young man of yours and be grateful that you are so involved in his life and that you are dependable. I have an ex-husband, though sober for a considerable amount of time chooses not to work the steps and has seriously damamged my eldest emotionally so many times. I'm grateful that I can at least be her stability. In fact, one night she told me, "Of all the people in this world, mom, I love you the most.". I started crying. Whenever I think about, I tear up. Unbelievable to have that kind of love with such a wonderful young lady. Bless you Christina on your journey. Please check into that "Acceptance" booklet if you don't have one. Also, try reading the Big Book, "Wives" and "The Family Afterward". May also help you. Prayers and loads of love, Jen