[paulmh]

I've always loved tradition twelve, Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to put principles before personalities.

I've come back from my home group. I only attend one meeting a week regularly, though I know where I would go each night if I had to. I kinda know that one isn't quite enough, just keeps me ticking over. But I have amends to make to my wife and kids. Curiously this week I had just said to my wife that I would like to be doing a second meeting regularly. She, as always, agreed. She knows I put my sobriety first. She knows if I need a meeting, I need a meeting.

Anyway. Tonight a long-standing member took me to one side and gave me an earful, in a loving way. A lot of what she said was reasonable. I let go of any resentment that wanted to spring up, then and afterwards, and listened to her respectfully. I won't bore you with the details, suffice to say she told me I was still sick.

Separate to this a woman came up to me after the meeting - someone I know from my homegroup and have done for a while - and basically flirted with me.

As I drove home I found myself thinking about the fact that I know, and have known for quite some time that I was only doing enough to get by. I found myself thinking that it's a good time to try and start living by the principles, and living the practises, which brought me such unexpected peace when I first came to the fellowship. I thought about the conversation I had had with my wife earlier in the week - there are so few coincidences, lol - about going to another meeting regularly. And I asked myself, maybe my homegroup is a bit too comfortable for me. And maybe it's also a bit soap-operaish too. Maybe it's a little too easy there. Maybe if I work with a different group of people, at meetings I also know quite well, I can progress my recovery.

What do you think. I feel calm and unresentful about events tonight, but I also feel like I want to sharpen my gratitude, my acceptance, my tolerance. I feel like I want to give my home group a miss for a little while. Any thoughts would be gratefully accepted.

My sponsor isn't well. I'll go and see him tomorrow and talk about this then.

Thanks all.