Hi everyone,
I just got out of the hospital where I was diagnosed with extreme stress syndrom and told to go home and get some rest.
I did quite a few stupid things since last time. I couldn´t control my temper and forgot everything I´ve learned since I got sober! First I went to work and demanded the computer and phone company we do business with to send a technician over to fix my computer. I wish I could have thrown the computer out, like you suggested, Caveman,
but unfortunately the office supplies come from the Ministry of culture. The technicians are on strike - everyone is always on a strike in this country and I´m sick of it - so I got into a fight with the computer and phone company and they´ll send someone over tomorrow.
Then I went to my uncle who was beside himself with worry because of my niece who was finally found with some 16 year old guy, and the whole family got into a fight Ã* la France with soppy making up that almost drove me nuts. Then I went to my mother and got into a fight with her because of my dad, called my brother in Kuala Lumpur and he agreed with me so we will work it out together when he gets back. Then I got a phonecall, an old friend and fellow artist committed suicide. My heart got crazy, I couldn´t breath and I went to the hospital, thinking I was having a real heart attack.
I am definately too old for this drama. You´re right, all of you. I forgot to let go and started repeating old behaviour patterns. But no more. I won´t go to work this week, my assistant can deal with the technicians, and of course I can put together a film festival. Thanks for believing in me, all of you, and thank you for your warm thoughts and your prayers. God knows I need it. I´ll go to bed now (in the middle of the afternoon) and just turn off the phone.
I feel like such an idiot for all these quarrells! The doctor told me to go to my old Kung Fu classes instead, and yes, I will follow her advice.