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Originally Posted by margo
8. The patient refused autopsy.
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Do they cut them up to find out what killed them, or do they do it to make sure that they STAY dead? ... It'd be pretty embarassing to have them wake up after the certificate has been signed.
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Originally Posted by margo
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
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Must be the same doctor.
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Originally Posted by margo
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
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Are you SURE? ... Perhaps a second opinion is in order.
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Originally Posted by margo
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
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What DO they study in medical school?
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Originally Posted by margo
15. She is numb from her toes down.
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Standing on her head, trying to get pregnant, right?
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Originally Posted by margo
17. The skin was moist and dry.
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Hence the request for an autopsy.
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Originally Posted by margo
18. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
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And if you went to medical school, you'd understand what he means too!
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Originally Posted by margo
19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
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Or does he just take a long time before he answers?
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Originally Posted by margo
20. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
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Maybe he had the diagram upside down?
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Originally Posted by margo
26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
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Alternative medicine.