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I know how you feel. When I finally got to the point where I began to like myself, I was so sad that it had taken so long and that I had treated myself so badly. And, I agree with you that we have to go through certain things, learn certain things and then we can move forward. The journey that we are on is all about learning and that's what we are doing.
One of my very favorite sayings is my Maya Angelou - "I did what I knew how to do, and when I knew better, I did better”.
__________________ Anna 
"I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Maya Angelou
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