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Oh Lilya!! I am so sorry you are going through all of this. That's a lot to handle and cope with. It's very difficult to realize our limits and strengths when we are confronted with family problems especially. The best advice I would have to give is to do some relaxation exercise in the morning first thing upon arising, and before bed, take an inventory of what you found to be your strengths and what you can gently nudge yourself to let go and let God take over. I know this is easier said than done! Maybe this is a test period to get you to another plane of your life, an experience that surely will be painful during the changes but will equip you to live your life on an even higher spiritual plane than ever before, I strongly believe that it is in out weakest and most distraught positions that we grow with the pains or take on inertia and detour our inevitable journey of self-discovery and growth. I am sending many hugs and prayers your way that you will be able to embrace all that is good and strong and beautiful about you and that you will face with courage and understanding all that must be let go of....You have come through so much already in your life..you are a miracle. There is something that I always think off..I don't remember if it was from the Dalai Lama or Lao-tzu(I think i got that name right) where they say..In our world nothing ever changes because they live by a set of spiritual principles so solid that nothing at all under the sun can disturb it..I find that so compelling and challenging....Hang in there Lilya..I know you have the inner strength to get through all this.