Hi Snoopy,
Once again, I am a tad bit late in responding
My experience with this is similar to what Smoke said. I find that A's already KNOW there is something awry in their lives, we don't have to remind them. In fact, when we start nagging, bit**ing, crying and carrying on, we are playing their game - in the end THIS is what helps them to AVOID the entire issue. We end up being the crazy ones... and they just keep on "keepin' on". Now, as a codependant myself *ahem*, I KNOW how utterly impossible it seems to keep my mouth shut... I am sure that if I can REMIND him of his behaviors, that he will see it MY way. But it wasn't until I turned my head, put my hands in my pockets and shut my mouth that HE began wavering and grabbing for lifelines... I wasn't playing the game; it was HARD for him to play alone... and he slammed himself hard into rock bottom.
Hmph... I am so vindictive. I am PROUD of my part in HIS reaching bottom
Take care
Meg