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Today I've hit a small bump in the road. We had a class on arguments/discussions. It had to do with the way we react to others and sometimes take poorly suggestions. For example, one flaw I have is being told I'm wrong or made a mistake. I set an unrealistic goal for myself of perfection.
No matter how well the person presents it I get defensive. They provided a list of suggestion and tips on how to change. I'll post it Monday, might help others also. Anyway, my mind started to focus on the amount of change. I mentioned to the instructor that some of these behaviors were learned in my early development years. As many of you've experienced, learning from poor paradigms (models) have resulted in a lifetime of practicing poor behavior. The thought of unlearning and relearning is almost overwhelming. Would I be wrong for comparing it to bringing myself back to childhood, and then bringing myself up again? Make any sense to you? Can you identify? Have you done this and have improved? Are you in progress or need also to do this? I know, many questions but, they are bouncing around in my head. Then again, I'm excited about the chance to rebuild myself. Brick by brick we can build a foundation. Each brick, or piece of the puzzle, will be in the correct place. Not forced into place by someone else. There is also a feeling of responsibilty in me. I hate to admit this but, I need to. Another lesson in progeress. Doing what I need and not what I want. One by one I'm giving up all my old excuses for these behavior. Exposure has brought a feeling of being responsible to correct my behavior. If I don't then I must point the figer at myself. Don, you haven't changed only because you don't want to. I've got to head back. Starting to get lonely here. If, anyone would like to, I'm going to give my address.
Donald Wallace 181D
Brocton VAMC
Reach Program
940 Belmont St.
Brocton, Mass 02301
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Captain America - On the side of good
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