Thank you all for your suggestions. I will continue on with alanon and therapy, I'm going to see this man one more time before I go switching counselors. AH did make a follow up appointment with him but I will mention to him that he always has the option of choosing another counselor that meets his needs. I have a good mental health insucance plan and we are each getting 3 free sessions through my EAP.
I don't mean to sound cold or harsh when I speak of AH, I know he's working on a lot of things within himself and our marriage is seemingly last on the list. I was told the same thing from hospice when first H died, no major changes for one year. Cynay, unfortunately due to financial circumstances we have no other choice but to live in the same home. We have no family/friends here that either of us could stay with.
I am going home to Buffalo, NY for a four day little vacation (my best friend is FINALLY getting married) and I've decided to go alone. I need to be alone and away even for a brief time. I'm so excited and have made plans with my friends and family that I hope to fit all in while I'm there. I miss the food and can't wait to eat some real chicken wings LOL. AH, was some what upset when I told him I wanted to go alone (my step-mom is my date for the wedding) but he seems ok with it now that all the plans/flight has been arranged.
I guess I am expecting too much after a short period of sobriety. I always hoped and prayed he'd get sober. The longest he was sober in the nine yrs with me was 3 months, but he was still smoking pot so I guess that's not sober huh?
I never imagined living with his sobriety would be just as difficult if not more difficult than living with his active disease.
I'm trying to keep the focus on me but as you all know that's difficult for a codie to do. So.........the road towards recovery continues. I hope to have more forward steps and less backward steps and to stop getting (lost) so frequently on my journey. One day at a time.
Love and Prayers to All.
