[Cynay]

You know this is just a though but ......

As a codi I tend to have an ALL or NOTHING mindset. I can not even tell you how many times I have made choices that might not have been in my best interest because of this....

Perhaps you could look at all options. Divorce is pretty sever and maybe your not ready for that.... sounds like you have already tried living in the same house and seperating (different bedrooms) .... but you continue to keep focusing on him, maybe because he is in your immediate space.... Have you thought about seperating so that you both have to space to work on yourselves???

To be really honest Im not sure why you expect him to be able to work on the marriage during the first year of soberity..... Also Im REALLY suprised that a marriage counslor would say all that and even more stuned that they did on the first sesson and in front of him. This is only my opinion but if I went to counceling for my marriage and they told me and my SO that on the first session..... I would be out of there and finding someone that helps me/us figure it out....

I do understand you anger and frustration. I could not live with my ex-abf even when he got sober..... Of course by the time we ended I was spiraling too far down to even get help for myself. I agree though that you two need individual help before you can work together.... I used Al-anon, counceling, SR and Alot of reading.... The thing that helps me alot is the Face to Face meetings so I can get a different perspective from a varity of people that really do understand and are where I want to be.... gotta love support groups.

*hugs* I know its a hard road.