[ayla zaire]

I've been coming to this site for weeks and trying to work up the courage to write this. I've been taking vicoden for months. I've only built up to 11/2to two pills a day, but I also take xanex(2 a day). I know t some of you this is very minor, but I can't stop and it is escalating. I am tired and depressed. I do not sleep and I am barely doing the basic everyday things I need to do. I don't leave my house. I am sinking and I am afraid. I'm out of pills. I am not getting them refilled. I would do anything for my children and I am not going to raise them high. Please help me. I have no car, no childcare, and my husband works 70 hours a week with a 1 hr. commute each way. Meetings are not an option for me. I need to get through these next few days and I don't know what to do. How do I get through this and still take care of my kids. I am sort of panicking here. I am a good mom and I don't want this to effect my kids any more than it already has. I know this has already changed them. Even if they don't know exactly what i am doing, they know something is wrong. Please help me.