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MamaBear
Your son is struggling with an illness over which he has no control. He is also 19, which can be a struggle in itself. Many people in that age range are partying in order to have a good time.
Unfortunately there is not one easy answer for you and your son which I'm sure you already know. Until he is able to admit and realize that marijuana use is aggravating his problems and is a problem for him, it will be difficult for him to quit. It is always hard to quit on one's own, and I can relate to his unwillingness to do so in a group.
The bi-polar issue will be something he will have to be dealing with for the rest of his life. It is not uncommon for individuals to struggle with taking their meds and admitting to themselves they have this problem.
However, there are also many people who are managing their Bi-Polar diagnosis, and their lives.
Stick with the limits you have set. He has an illness, but he is not unable to follow rules. Let him know you love him, which I'm sure you do, and that you want to help him get better, but that he also has to help himself. If this he his third round of meds then I think a second opinion would be a good idea.
Also, I think that any positive behavior should be acknowledged. You said he went three weeks without using, was he allowed privledges during those three weeks, i.e., use of car, etc. What are the things that matter to him. Does he like music, art, books, concerts, I have always found that reinforcement of positive behavior works very well in helping to change unwanted behaviors.
Juls
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