Mamabear,
You have a difficult problem, but it´s also a challenge. I was a juvenile delinguent twenty years ago, always using drugs and alcahol and creating dramas - even with the police - to get the adrenaline flowing in order to beat my depression. I got clean and sober after 15 years of drugtaking and drinking and gambling, then put myself through college, and after I got clean I started my career.
I suffered a trauma in my life that ended this nonsense. Also, people dropped me - and no wonder. Ditto to what Caveman said. Tough love is what is required. My family also threw me out and it took years to win back their love and respect.
My ex-husband was clinically depressed and smoked pot, which made his depression triple bad. He and my daughter went to a sect and I severed all ties to my husband years ago and my relationship with my daughter is on hold for some time now. Tough deal, but life is unfair. Yet there is so much beauty, fun and hope to be found in life.
Please don´t forget that.
There are no easy answers here. If your son is not looking after himself - like washing his clothes and showing his body respect, he is in very depressed. The only hope I can give you is from my personal experience: Tough love - but watch out for serious symptoms like suicidal thoughts. I will try to find some information on support group. I live in Paris, but I often go to the American Church for meetings. I´ll ask around and let you know.
You´re not alone. Take care of yourself as well. Remember, while traveling in an airplane when they show the demos for oxygen: "Put the oxygen mask on yourself before assisting the child".
My thoughts are with you,
Love and light