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Thank you Juls,
He's on his 3rd combination of meds...now using wellbutrin and abilify. Although zyprexa worked it also numbed him too much. None of the antidepressants seem to break the hold of the depression. Of course they are weakened by grass use and some alcohol use. Since we took away the car and said we won't pay for tuition unless he's clean, he is white knuckling it....won't go to a meeting, says he can quit on his own . he did for 3 weeks and used again 2 days ago. (This part is his - determining whether or not he has a problem w/ substances.) For some reason he has difficulty relating to recovering folks and feels they don't understand
I fluctuate from being supportive and present to frustrated and overly invested. I shoot for loving and yet detached. Not sure any of this makes sense. Sometimes I even feel like he died as we knew him and I mourn that.
This diagnosis is a bitch. Believe it or not it helps immensely knowing there are people living their lives with this. And are willing to talk about it.
A second opinion might be a good idea.
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Mamabear
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