Hi Ryan... welcome. I used to cut, and when I did - it was always related to unexpressed RAGE. I would just bottle it up and bottle it up... and then, BAM!
I can see lots of things in your post that might have elicited a reaction, but you said ...
Quote:
|
he then told me if i didnt get out he was going to kill me, i was not intimidated at all and just stood there and told him to go right ahead
|
Why? It sounds like perhaps walking away from that chaos would be good for you. If you do seek out a therapist, I would urge you to give that person all tihs information and perhaps consider why you would allow someone to abuse you, and then turn around and give that same person a "gift"....
Quote:
|
so i wet home fixed it and put in a cdw/rw anbd gave it back to him he was like ge thanks and threw it on his bed. i was deeply hurt
|
First, a "gift" implies - "for free" - and you don't owe me ANYTHING in return. Second, if someone rejects my gift, it doesn't matter if I think the gift may not have been good enough - I DON'T give them something 'more' in order to try and get their love or appreciation.
If my assessment of what is going on with you is off-base, I apologize.
Do you have a plan of action for today?