SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Do You Push Your Higher Power Onto Another In Recovery?

Kellye C · 08-19-2006, 03:43 PM

I grew up with knowledge that there is a God. I never doubted that. If anyone asked me I would tell them that I was a Christian. Unfortunately the God of my understanding at the time was one of a punishing God who was going to send me to hell unless I was "perfect". Believe me whe I say I constantly fell short of that idea. It reached a point where I turned my back on God because I figured why try? I'm never going to measure up.

I wanted to go to church in my drinking days but wouldn't. I felt like I had to quit drinking on my own before I could go and present myself too him. I felt like I was too unworthy of his time and love. I did go once in Feb 04 and was prayed over about the alcholism but that didn't stop me from picking up again so once again I felt like I wasn't worthy.

In coming to AA I had little hope that this would work for me. I was there simply because I had nothing else to try. Through sitting through many meetings I started learning about other people's God and how they pretty much felt the same as I did when coming in but that the concept was transformed.

This is what happened to me. I basically turned to the God of their understanding first and then revamped my own concept of God from wrathful waiting to send me to hell, to one who loves me and wants the best for me but is gentleman enough to watch me struggle and beat my head agains the wall before crying out for help. I think of him as a father figure basically. No parent wants their child to suffer but sometimes they have to in order to learn an important lesson. I feel this is how my God does. He lets me walk through things but the second that I figure out that I'm off course and screwing up I give it tom him and he gladly picks it up.

For those newcomers coming in with no concept of God or a desire for one, don't let that keep you away. A lot of people use this God (Group of Drunks) as their HP. They believe that the group believes. That is enough to get started. I don't try to cram my beliefs down anybody's throat

Hope this helped someone,
Kellye

08-19-2006, 03:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
Kellye C Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Highlands, TX Posts: 1,165 Blog Entries: 1	I grew up with knowledge that there is a God. I never doubted that. If anyone asked me I would tell them that I was a Christian. Unfortunately the God of my understanding at the time was one of a punishing God who was going to send me to hell unless I was "perfect". Believe me whe I say I constantly fell short of that idea. It reached a point where I turned my back on God because I figured why try? I'm never going to measure up. I wanted to go to church in my drinking days but wouldn't. I felt like I had to quit drinking on my own before I could go and present myself too him. I felt like I was too unworthy of his time and love. I did go once in Feb 04 and was prayed over about the alcholism but that didn't stop me from picking up again so once again I felt like I wasn't worthy. In coming to AA I had little hope that this would work for me. I was there simply because I had nothing else to try. Through sitting through many meetings I started learning about other people's God and how they pretty much felt the same as I did when coming in but that the concept was transformed. This is what happened to me. I basically turned to the God of their understanding first and then revamped my own concept of God from wrathful waiting to send me to hell, to one who loves me and wants the best for me but is gentleman enough to watch me struggle and beat my head agains the wall before crying out for help. I think of him as a father figure basically. No parent wants their child to suffer but sometimes they have to in order to learn an important lesson. I feel this is how my God does. He lets me walk through things but the second that I figure out that I'm off course and screwing up I give it tom him and he gladly picks it up. For those newcomers coming in with no concept of God or a desire for one, don't let that keep you away. A lot of people use this God (Group of Drunks) as their HP. They believe that the group believes. That is enough to get started. I don't try to cram my beliefs down anybody's throat Hope this helped someone, Kellye __________________ *Kellye C.* *Sobriety Date 8/8/04 - By God's Grace and A.A.*