I'm back in the land of the POSITIVE..Went to my Home Group this am and a good friend took her cake..lots of tears & love..a visitor fm Vallarta that I met when I was down there twice this winter..What a small AA world.
I did a little self care, nails done & some new underwear,,Ha ha- sorry guys..but a necessity...
The old friend fm high school (guy) called and we'll meet at the place he took me to for free fun poker last Mon & I was able to explain that I hoped he didn't get the wrong idea..I wasn't looking for anything more than friendship..(he tried to hold my hand & kiss me - yuck- do I still have issues YES!)..This is the first time I've gone out for fun in SEVEN years - except for AA meetings and Conventions...So finally - I am develponing some balance in my life - when my mental health is balanced.
I have so much shame around people seeing me when I am depressed..No one could believe it when I crashed...YOU - the most confident and capable and happy person we know ???...Unless I can be like that..I don't like to go anywhere but meetings..even then - I didn't want to take my 4 yr cake - I had NO Support fm my home group at that time - they just thought I was NUTS...no - I was ill.....
Anyway - Have a great home group now and just took my seven yr cake 2 weeks ago - they know I have another illness...and they support me...but I still try to hide it..ha ha..
Wow - am I ever typing alot...must need to make up for the time I've been down...Thanks everyone for being here..I'm learning so much and staring to feel like I belong...
Janni
