A great skill to develop for maintaining ongoing recovery and manifesting goals is knowing how to effectively manage one’s time. Early in recovery, it is enough to do what is suggested by a sponsor, the needs of recovery being placed in top priority. Once recovery has been comfortably established, recovering addicts often find time to rediscovered or develop goals and dreams that had lay dormant and unheeded during their addiction.

As dreams surface, it is important for addicts to learn how to balance their time effectively so they can achieve these goals. This is a good time to learn coping skills for dealing with stressors that are introduced as they advance toward these goals. If they desire career advancement, it may mean that they will undergo an educational process that will allow them to do so. If they are looking for relationships that can enhance their recovery experience, they may decide to date, to get married, to have children, or step into whatever new role desired. If a hobby is desired, one might enroll into an art class or music lessons.

Finding time to increase their social life or take on new responsibilities can upset the balance they had achieved during the early stages of their recovery. Whatever changes they desire to make in their lives, or whatever changes occur that they need to incorporate into their schedules, it is important that the recovery meetings, time with recovering friends, sponsorship and other recovering activities not be compromised.

A easy way to plan to incorporate changes in their schedules is to use a simple pie chart. Drawing a large circle, divide the circle into 24 even slices. These slices represent hours of any given day. Begin by selecting seven or eight slices for the necessary time required for sleep. This is a big key for everyone’s recovery, since lack of sleep can be a trigger for those old habits that remind the addict of their previous lifestyle. Then select the appropriate number of slices to represent their daily work activities, grooming time, and commuting time both to and from their normal activities. Allow slices to represent their recovery activities, such as meetings, sponsorship time, and phone calls made and received to support recovery. This will leave a few of those slices for time with family, children, parents, etc.

Kelly McClanahan has an MSW in clinical social work, with a specialization in substance abuse treatment. Having worked in this field for over 20 years, she is currently working on her certification as an addictions’ counselor.

When “under the influence,” many people’s judgment is impaired which can result in affairs and promiscuity. Once an addict begins his recovery process,  a lot of issues need to be sorted out regarding sex.

For those who are suffering the ravages of a marriage on the rocks from the destructive forces of active addiction, renewing a sexual relationship may seem like the obvious bridge that can make a couple closer. However, due to the physical and psychological changes that take place in early recovery, sex may not be possible or even comfortable for the recovering individual initially. Furthermore, the partner of the recovering individual may not be interested in romance to begin with either. To have a lasting relationship, a couple needs to work on strengthening and healing their emotional bonds first. Marriage counseling can help with these problems, and sex will occur when both parties have opened the lines of communication and healing has begun to take place.

Then there are the marriages where an unmendable break has happened. In light of such uncertainty and transition, sexual activity should  wait until feelings have been dealt with and the recovering addict is emotionally stable enough to engage in a healthy relationship. While it may have been that person’s pattern to engage in casual sexual before, new and present feelings need to be addressed. Prior to that, sex will tangle the individual’s emotions into knots and is very often the beginning of a relapse into active addiction. Many in the recovery community caution to not get involved in a relationship for at least one year after entering recovery.

For those who are single and sexually active prior to recovery, the same reasoning is going to apply. While it may seem that you have been able to have casual and offhand sex without emotional entanglements, it absolutely will be different without the effects of drugs and/or alcohol to blunt the emotions involved.

Other risks that need to be addressed are the status of the partner you choose for sexual encounters. Are they also recovering? Is their recovery stable enough for them to withstand the emotions that are sure to surface? Is yours? Worse, are they still using and have not sought addiction treatment help? Are you transferring your substance addiction tendencies into a sexual addiction?  Relationships are difficult, at best. Under normal circumstances, they are part of the drive for alcohol and drugs that many addicts were propelled by. In early recovery, they will often be part of the relapse process if one is not careful.

Kelly McClanahan has an MSW in clinical social work, with a specialization in substance abuse treatment. Having worked in this field for over 20 years, she is currently working on her certification as an addictions’ counselor.

For those who are new to 12-step program lingo, this is a strange-sounding phrase. Its meaning will become clearer over time, but is confusing at first. Just what do they mean by “one day at a time”? Most newly recovering addicts will argue that they are here for long time recovery or to quit forever. As usual, this is a great idea, but a tough one to live out.

For most who have developed a lifestyle that is centered on their addiction, the specter of remaining abstinent looms dark and forbidding into a future that seems bleak without the companions of substances and behaviors that have been the only friends an addict sometimes has left. Take these away, and just what, pray tell, are they supposed to do? A savvy friend or sponsor will laugh then and tell them that they only need to remain abstinent for this one day. “Oh…so that is it,” thinks the newcomer…”but I still don’t understand.” And of course, they do not understand. Other than the loss of the horrendous consequences they have been paying for their addiction and its accompanying behaviors, there is little to recommend a life without the practice of active addiction. And, if there is a life without it, what kind of life could it possibly be?

Certain that there is no more fun to be had in their lives, that they will never laugh or enjoy themselves again, because they are so uncomfortable without the security blanket of their drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, or whatever their addiction was, even one day seems to stretch out in front of them, dreary and bleak. They have become so used to the feelings of being in an altered state of mind that it is impossible to see how it could ever be any better without the only friend(s) they had left.

So, one day at a time can mean that they only have to figure out how to go through this 24-hour period of time without substances. To even contemplate staying abstinent for any longer is an overwhelming idea. So, it can be broken down into segments that are comfortable for the newly recovering addict…one day, which can be further broken down into hours, or even minutes if their anxiety about not using or drinking or participating in an addictive behavior is at stake. With the help of their newly-formed support group and a strong relationship with a sponsor, it can go that slowly…one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Somehow, they will wake up in the morning after a strenuous day and feel amazed that they remained abstinent for that day!

The true miracles of recovery are those first days. They are absolutely impossible to achieve, and yet, it does happen! With or without a treatment or recovery setting, there is hope! With the hope that they can do it for just one more minute, one more hour, or one more day coupled with the experience of actually having done it for a few minutes, hours and days, there is hope and a sense of certainty. A support group will provide this certainty as well. As the newcomer hears the stories of the recovery of those in the meetings, they become more assured that, “If they can do it, so can I!”

Kelly McClanahan has an MSW in clinical social work, with a specialization in substance abuse treatment. Having worked in this field for over 20 years, she is currently working on her certification as an addictions’ counselor.

To be completely accurate, detox anywhere can be cold turkey, in other words, abruptly done. Whether or not a person pays for detox, some agencies will not provide medications unless they are clinically and medically necessary. Others will give users medication to ease their way out of their addiction.

The distinction I make here is whether or not you need to go to a hospital or clinical setting. Some people can do this at home, unless they are going to suffer seizures (as from alcohol detox from long-term, chronic drinking). Most drugs can be medically withdrawn from the body without substituting other drugs. Some people prefer a detox on medications, due to the fact that coming off pain killers, heroin, and some other drugs can be excrutiating.

Detoxing at a Facilty

The average cost of detox in a facility depends on several factors. If you have insurance, it will range according to how much your insurance company will pay. If the agency provides medical detox, this can get quite pricey, because use of Suboxone or other medications to get you “clean” is expensive. It requires an medical doctor, a nurse to monitor your care, and other personnel. A nonmedical setting may give you a place to be quiet for sleep, food and opportunity to attend groups and client interaction. They will have a room and someone to monitor your progress. It depends on what substances and how long you are using.

Costs for detox facilities can range from $200 per day for a setting with no medical interventions to $10,000.00 per day for all the comforts of home (if you regularly live on a tropical island with servants!) It is possible to get clean from substance use in either setting.

Cold Turkey at Home

It can also be possible to do this in your home. There are a few exceptions, and it will be regularly repeated here that this should only be done with the oversight of your personal physician. If you are coming off of anti-anxiety medication or muscle relaxing medication, please consult your doctor before attempting detox. These drugs need to be slowly titrated from a user’s system. Stopping them abruptly is very dangerous and has serious side effects. Be sure to consult a physician!

If you opt for detox at home, the best advice is to find a friend or loved one who will help you through the worst of it, usually three to five days. During this time, they need to be sure that you do not fall, that your intake of water and other nutrients is consistent, even if it makes you sick. There is a need for your body to have liquids and electrolytes to function during detox. If you can take them, chicken broth, soda crackers, white rice and applesauce are the foods most easily digested during distress. Be sure to ask someone to help you who will not give in and give you medications to get you through. If you are coming off a drug that must be titrated down, have them go with you to the doctor so they know how much and when to give it. They need to be completely aware of danger signs to look for. A safe friend who knows how this detox business feels from personal experience may be the best help you can find.

Kelly McClanahan has an MSW in clinical social work, with a specialization in substance abuse treatment. Having worked in this field for over 20 years, she is currently working on her certification as an addictions’ counselor.

There is little talk in traditional 12-step recovery groups about the practice of meditation. There is little conversation in these groups about the benefits or the reasons for meditation. Today there are special groups of 12-step recovery members who are forming alternative groups with interests that include meditation practices, but they are not as widespread as the bulk of the recovery meetings. It is important that these concepts become more widely available to recovery members who are not able to access these groups.

Long-term abstinence is difficult to achieve when recovering addicts do not know what emotional process they are in. Daily, all cultures, around the world, are faced with the stresses of life. These can range from driving in traffic, difficulty in relationships at home and at work, illness (either personal or familial, or both), birth, death, marriage, divorce, the list goes on and on. Navigating these turbulent waters is a balancing act for everyone. Recovering addicts do not have all of the emotional stability that is required for dealing with these stressors without a great deal of help. While it is important for them to maintain their involvement in 12-step support groups, working with sponsors and other 12-step advisers and friends, maintaining a spiritual connection is tough when you are not aware of how you are feeling about any and all of this activity and its inherent stressors. Meditation can be the safe haven for most addicts when they walk through the fear that bars them entrance into the quietude and serenity that is found within them.

This is the seat of all of the wisdom and answers that anyone needs to access. But it is a task that is intimidating when most of us just want to “check out.” Long after the drugs and alcohol are gone, there is still our addiction to “doing” instead of “being.” This is easily recognized in our cultural addictions to social media, television, cell phones, gambling, eating, spending, shopping, gossiping, reality TV shows, sex, and every form of escape man has created.

So, the challenge is to find a space and time, no matter how “busy” we are to check into the only resource we have for true knowledge and guidance. After the chatter has died down, we will access our real source of inner “knowing.” This is an important part of the recovery process. It will guide us to know our own feelings and when something is either right or wrong for us at this time. We are past masters at self-deception. This is the best and easiest way to find the answers we seek for setting our own course.

Kelly McClanahan has an MSW in clinical social work, with a specialization in substance abuse treatment. Having worked in this field for over 20 years, she is currently working on her certification as an addictions’ counselor.