Anger is one of the hardest emotions to deal with in recovery and can often be a factor that leads to relapse if left unchecked. What most people don’t realize is that anger is often what is referred to as a “secondary emotion” – it’s simply a reaction to another primary emotion. Looking at the chain of events that occurs when a person becomes angry can help in identifying the primary emotion that is being felt.

People usually become angry in response to some sort of threat. This threat can be toward the physical body (as in a fist fight), a threat to personal property (like in a car accident), a threat to self-esteem (name calling), a threat to beliefs or values (a difference of opinion in terms of what is right or just), or a threat of not getting what one wants.

Once a person has perceived a situation as a threat, the next event that occurs in the chain reaction of anger is the body’s physical response to the feeling of anger. Typical physical responses to anger include increased heart rate and blood pressure, a clenched jaw and/or fists, shortness or quickening of breath, and the face turning red.

The way in which the threatening event is interpreted leads to further feelings of anger. This stage of the anger chain consists of cognitive distortions that lead a person to jump to conclusions about a situation that can be inaccurate. For example, if someone were to bump into you at the grocery store, and you thought to yourself “Oh, he didn’t mean to do that, he accidentally bumped in to me,” you would not likely become angry. If you instead thought “That guy meant to bump into me, he clearly saw me standing here, and he is trying to start trouble,” your perception of the situation would then further your feelings of anger.

If anger is left unchecked, it is at this point that a person usually decides to act on their feelings of anger. Acting out behaviors can include name calling, physical altercations, yelling, threatening the other person, etc. In order for a person to successfully manage issues with anger, the chain of events must be broken before this stage is reached.

Finally, after the anger episode is over, the person has the opportunity to reflect on how the situation could have been handled differently. This is a key part of anger management, as this allows a person to come up with healthier alternatives to anger the next time a threat is perceived. The earlier the chain of events that occurs when a person becomes angry is broken, the easier it will be for the person to react differently and make a better choice. This is very important in recovery, as anger is a very common relapse trigger. If not managed in a healthy way, anger can tempt a person in recovery to alleviate these feelings by using drugs and alcohol.

Managing anger is a lot like creating a relapse prevention plan. The first step is to identify the triggers to anger, and work to uncover the true emotion that is hiding behind the mask of anger. Once the true emotion is identified, feelings of anger can be alleviated by focusing on deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or even by doing something as simple as taking a walk or a hot shower. Managing anger in a healthy way can also help a person in recovery to communicate with others more effectively and develop patience and tolerance.

Jessica Parks is a certified alcohol and drug counselor in the state of Illinois and has her M.A. in art therapy counseling.Jessica Parks is a certified alcohol and drug counselor in the state of Illinois and has her M.A. in art therapy counseling.

You may have reasonable motives for being mean and performing ugly. I am convinced that somewhere someone really hurt you; they betrayed your self-esteem. They abused you and left you with a memory of misery and pain. It is by far not my intent to be insensitive, but holding on to the pain of the past can cause more damage to you than the individual or individuals who injured you. The things we suffer can either make us better or bitter. Such volumes of pain would easily destroy us if we had not found avenues to cope. We needed a way to avoid pain and simultaneously institute a soothing pleasure. Food, cocaine, alcohol, heroine, sex and a number of unnamed addictions became our answer. We knew we could count on them to calm the beast of anger on the inside. Soon, we forgot why we were angry at all. All we knew was we could “fix” the frustration, loneliness, boredom and disappointment with one act of indulgence. One act of indulgence became two and two became three until we found ourselves caught in an infinite, dizzying helix of pleasure and pain.

How deceived we have become. We cover pain with our anger and we cover anger with addiction. All the while the pain festers beneath. It fuels the fire. In brief moments of clarity or we see what we are doing to ourselves. It is at this time we have the courage to say, “I give up”, and not on life but on the charade we played so long. We find the courage to face ourselves and the unsightliness inside us.
The rush of rage can produce a similar high to your common street narcotic. The problem is you manufacture the drug in your head. Your mind and your body may be conditioned to “overheat” any time you feel fearful, threatened or insecure. The cravings for anger will not subside quickly. You may need to enlist a variety of coping mechanisms to get you through the tough times.

You should look for someone to talk to. If you look hard enough there may be people already in your life in whom you can trust. If not find someone who has a listening ear. Pastors, priests, therapists and community group members dedicate their lives and time to listening and helping those in crises.

Get thorough knowledge yourself by reading books or listening to CD’s brings a since of self-awareness. Surf internet and go through the online websites for vast knowledge. When you become self-aware you become can control your emotions and behavior easily.

In spite of the apparent over saturation of anger management awareness there still seems to be a lots of confusion about what anger management is and when it is suitable. I get more number of inquires everyday over telephone and also through our website.. Some of these inquires are legitimate and appropriate for anger management and others are not. Funny enough, every person whose anger is severe is not appropriate for anger management. Those who have persistent mental health problems, are drug addicted, have a history of domestic violence may not be appropriate for anger management or may benefit from anger management only if the anger management class is also combined with treatment by a licensed mental health profession. Anyone whose anger is severe, frequent, intense and long lasting should seek the advice of an anger management professional.

What really is an anger management class?

Contrary to public perception anger management is a class. It is neither counseling nor psychotherapy. Anger management interventions are structured classes that are built on the premise that the way anger is expressed is learned therefore can be unlearned. To improve the credibility of the information received in an anger management class it is important that the instructor be certified. There are 3-4 major certifying organizations in the country however only one has set the standard and has received global acceptance. That organization is Anderson and Anderson, a Los Angeles based organization that has certified thousands across the globe in anger management. This model purports that true anger management should involve a focus on anger management as well as communication skills, emotional intelligence and stress management. Therefore, it is my opinion that any anger management class that is worth its salt should include these four components.

Are there different types of anger management classes?

Generally, anger management classes are given in group format however there are times when high level executives, doctor, lawyers, nurses, pilots and business owners request private sessions. These sessions are known as executive coaching.

These sessions are structured to take a coaching format. The client receives extensive testing in anger management and emotional intelligence as well as individual anger management sessions that focus on improving productivity, reducing stress, improving communication and decision making skills. All these components come together to improve anger management. Often these high profile individual have to deal with stressors that make it difficult for them to make decisions appropriately. This level of stress can lead to anger outbursts that alienate them and can have legal consequences that are threatening to their careers with disastrous financial consequences. Therefore, taking some time to have coaching on effective ways to manage anger is a smart choice to consider before anger negatively affects their career.

Anger management is appropriate for many

There are a wide range of individuals who seek help for problems with anger. I have personally worked with individuals from the stay-at-home mom to the high level executive. Each situation is totally different therefore it is important that a certified anger management facilitator assesses whether anger management is right for you. Again I encourage if your anger is too regular, too severe, too intense, get the proper medical treatment assistance from a certified anger management provider.

Anger is the gatekeeper of our emotions. If it is used powerfully, it will provide us to interact with the world fully aware of when our emotional gates should remain, open and when to keep them closed.

Imagine the gatekeeper for a moment. She knows that her job is to protect. She also knows that if she is over protective those inside the gate will die from starvation or suffer from a lack of exposure to the outside world.

Dealing with Anger

In the same way, anger protects our most vulnerable emotions. When we feel emotions like fear, disappointment, pain, grief, loss, rejection, humiliation, jealousy, being taken advantage of etc. anger forms a protective layer to keep others form further exploiting us. This is a wonderful tool in our emotional arsenal. Sadly just like the over zealous gatekeeper who keeps the gate close-anger can be destructive by fostering isolation from ourselves and others.

When our anger is appropriately, others will know through good communication that we have been negatively affected by their actions and in turn we can take steps to meet our own needs to ease our pain, disappointment, embarrassment etc. without becoming uselessly angry.

The Anger or the Emotional gatekeeper, which protects our other emotions however we need to also remember that there, is a slight balance between protections and suffocation.

Nerve related diseases are more complicated to diagnose than the diseases of the other organs of the body because the nervous system is hidden from the eye of the medical professionals and it can be known only from the disturbances of other organs governed by the affected nerves whether and of what type the nervous diseases is. Under this head come apoplexy, forgetfulness, hysteria, mental defectiveness, mental illness, neurasthenia and others. The most common nervous weakness, nervous break down or nervous exhaustion.

Causes:

Many factors contribute to the production of nervous diseases.

Some people are born with a nervous disposition and it is that category which generally suffers from headaches, neuralgia, hysterical manifestations and bizarre forms of mental activity. The nervous system is exposed to the fast pace of modern life, which tends to bring on many diseases like anxiety states, digestives disturbances and exhaustion. Shocks to both mind and body, such as the loss of a dear one, money reverses, an unfortunate love affair and an accident may be the starting point of many chronic nervous complaints. Certain organic poisons like the one produced in body by diseases like syphilis give rise to serious nervous disorders. Chronic alcoholism may bring on severe mental derangement. The organic disorders manifest themselves in the shape by hysteria, anxiety states and nervous breakdowns.

Weakness of the nervous system can give rise to diseases like dyspepsia or palpitation, which cannot be helped by remedies directed towards those organs. It is but natural since it is the brain and the nervous system enclosed in it, which controls the bodily functions. A sudden loosening of bowels or the bladder in case of fright is an example. Another example is of certain persons with a strong will power who are able to fight serious crisis brought on by diseases much better than ordinary individuals.

Symptoms:

A person suffering from nervous weakness or debility generally experiences a sense of nameless fear, agitation, perplexity, confusion, worry, disappointment, loneliness, irritability and insomnia. The physical symptoms are constipation, dyspepsia, headaches, vague aches and pains all over the body and feverishness. The patient is also inclined to be a hypochondriac. The moment he reads about or hears the symptoms of a disease he imagines that he suffers from it. The wise physician will keep him away from any medical literature.